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Author Topic: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot
Kazoey  902 posts
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[GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/23/03 10:28am
The reason for this story can be found here. I'll be adding a revamped version of that cover to this thread as soon as Village Photos let's me.




Alpha and Bigfoot: The Full Story – the Cover Story Exclusive!


-by Kazoey


As most stories do, this story begins with a boy. A boy who became a man: a very humiliated and publicly ridiculed man. Our information is currently the following: Alpha Operator went into the forest one day searching for mushrooms. He found something very, very different.

Our region reporter, Kazoey, went to the source to find out the full truth. In AO's home, this interview took place...

<red>Kazoey</red>: Alpha Operator, I guess the big question is: is this all true? Did Bigfoot really keep you as his 'Love Slave'?
<blue>Alpha Operator</blue>: The short answer is yes. It was an amazing...er, terrifying experience.
<red>Kazoey</red>: How long were you in its clutches?
<blue>Alpha Operator</blue>: Oh, about 2000 of my posts worth of time.
<red>Kazoey</red>: ...right. How long is that?
<blue>Alpha Operator</blue>: About a week.
<red>Kazoey</red>: Did you try to escape?
<blue>Alpha Operator</blue>: Why would I want to...? OH. Ahem. No, not really. But I did try to sneak out of the cave to go to the bathroom, but it caught me. That’s when things got REALLY hairy. You can’t imagine what a bigfoot looks like in a black leather...
<red>Kazoey</red>: NO! NO MORE! I think that question has been answered enough.
<blue>Alpha Operator</blue>: As you wish.
<red>Kazoey</red>: *frazzled* So...how did you finally get away?
<blue>Alpha Operator</blue>: Well, after a week of it all, I just told him I had better get home. At first he was angry about it, and pouted a lot. But finally he gave, and let me go. We really were close. At times I mean.
<red>Kazoey</red>: *blank stare*
<blue>Alpha Operator</blue>: *lazy smile*
<red>Kazoey</red>: ...alrighty then. Your wife has left you to become a nun, and your family has changed their names and moved to Portugal. How has this all affected you?
<blue>Alpha Operator</blue>: Well Kazoey, I'm not too bothered about all that. The mushrooms Bigfoot gave me as compensation were worth ALL of it. *looks at watch* In fact...we'd better wrap this interview up. It’s almost time for me to go 'mushroom hunting' again.
<red>Kazoey</red>: Is it just me or are you saying...I mean...did you ENJOY being his love slave?
<blue>Alpha Operator</blue>: *cheeks redden* WHAT? I...this interview is OVER, buster.


According to Kazoey, Alpha then picked up his 'mushroom hunting' bouquet of flowers and his box of 'midday snack' heart-shaped chocolates, and waddled into the woods. Fortunately for us, one of our secret ninja photographers (the unlucky one who had drawn the shortest straw) was sent after Alpha to give us a full report. Until next week, [GSF] Star Gazette signing off.

--

Now, go give me a + vote and let me into [GSF].

 

-----signature-----
"When I want your opinion I'll give it to you. Now shut up." - Kazoey
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urik  4284 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/23/03 10:56am
In Reply To #1
I hold all copyrights to "[GSF] Gazette", now give me a dollar.

 
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Kazoey  902 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/23/03 11:06am
In Reply To #2

You own the rights to [GSF] Gazette...but not [GSF] STAR Gazette. Must we wage an expensive 1 dollar legal war?

 

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"When I want your opinion I'll give it to you. Now shut up." - Kazoey
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Nyopallo  13890 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/23/03 11:14am
In Reply To #1
I wonder if he ever comes to this forum.

We make fun of him a lot here.

 

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I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Ce he do dhaidi?
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Mystical_Mr._Bob  2484 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/23/03 11:17am
Heh, especially Spankz's article. Damn that was harsh.

 

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urik  4284 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/23/03 11:49am
In Reply To #3
I'll settle for 66.6666666666666667 cents.

 
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Kazoey  902 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/23/03 5:39pm
In Reply To #6

*hires a 'Barrel O' Lawyers'*

I'm sorry, did you say something?

 

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"When I want your opinion I'll give it to you. Now shut up." - Kazoey
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urik  4284 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/23/03 6:06pm
*Summons the twelve lawers of Baator*
*drinks mp potion*
I challenge you to a LAWYER DUEL!

 
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Kazoey  902 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/23/03 9:43pm
In Reply To #8

I summon from the pit...SAR'GRAKAR LAWYER DEMON!

*to lawyer* Dispatch these amatuers, Sars.

Enguard!

 

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"When I want your opinion I'll give it to you. Now shut up." - Kazoey
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Grudgeal  17099 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/24/03 10:33am
In Reply To #4

Archy probably scares him off.

[added Jun 24 2003 10:35AM]

In Reply To #9

Aren't lawers LE and not CE?

 

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And I still hate you.
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Archeoptrix  8234 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/24/03 11:12am
*Arrives*

Ok, yeah, I provide legal councelling, through means of breaking your opponent's knees. I charge half as much as any lawyer and for a limited time only, I'll throw in a free carbombing of the other guy's legal team.

Kiru, Kazoey, any offers?

 

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Hail and KIll.
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urik  4284 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/24/03 11:29am
In Reply To #11
I'l give you 66.6666666666666666 cents

 
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Archeoptrix  8234 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/24/03 11:33am
In Reply To #12

For that much, I'll give you a ruptured testicle.

 

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Hail and KIll.
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urik  4284 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/24/03 11:58am
In Reply To #13
oooh, who's is it?

 
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Kazoey  902 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 6/24/03 1:17pm
In Reply To #14

*pant wheeze* My...crotch...why does it...burn so? ...and...not even with...passion!!!

 

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"When I want your opinion I'll give it to you. Now shut up." - Kazoey
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AlphaOperator  752 posts
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RE: [GSF] Star Gazette: Alpha and Bigfoot 7/12/03 9:48pm
Heh. That is pretty funny.

Next time, you'd have better luck photoshopping in a real picture. I look nothing like that person. Here:

EDITED

Wait, maybe that isn't such a good idea.

 

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