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Topic: LE BEMTEST PRODJECT! SI LIVES!!!
bee tee eff zor
Posts: 6,499
Join Date: Sep '03
Okay, for those of you who were unaware, the SERIOUS BUSINESS of the 26th August 2005 (a day which will forever live in infamy) didn't just kill of such GG thread veterans as I HAVE A GOOGLE TOOLBAR IN MY BROWSER, THE PALACE OF PENIS and LARA'S BIG BROWN BEAVER; it killed such beautiful fledgelings as ZOUNDS, IT IS BENTEST IN YUOR POKKET AKA THE BENTEST PROJECT!!!

But Spam is an ever ebbing tide, and just as the EvilHomers of this world attempt to stem it's flow, one day it will sneak up and take them from behind, like Katrina did to Nawlins. SO I POST IT AGAIN!!! I warn you now however, this time round the captions will not be as funny as they were on /bentest. Nothing is ever as funny as it was on Bentest. Ever.

This is not just open to [BTFzor], I think it will be sexy to include [GSF] as well perhaps. If you want to be part of this project, I need the following informations:

1) A picture, or a picture you want me to work from when creating your sim.
2) An aspiration: either Romance, Family, Knowledge, Popularity or Fortune.
3) A Star Sign (lol, donut worry, it is nothing to do with gay mysticism, the game sums up people's personalities through star signs as personality types).
4) Any special informations you want me to try and aim for when creating the Sim.

Also, this time round I will only be updating every few days, since it takes me a while to play it, sort through it and put the screenshots. HOWEVER! Once the neighbourhood is complete and I've added everyone who wants in, I'll work out a way of zipping and uploading it. Then it's up to you to keep the thread updated with what antics your versions of bentestville are getting up to. This should give you enough time to <strike>warez</strike> buy a copy of the Sims 2.

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DAY ONE!!!


Say hello and WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE to the Sargasm family!


As you can see, there is not yet a house. It is tough, the life of a sargams. Here we see as he stands before the barren wasteland, his inner Texan unleashes itself and he sets off to build himself a house. Not just any house. A TEXAN HOUSE!!!


Hey, why so glum, chum? Poor Sargams, he is upset because someone CUT HIS FUNDING, and he only has a half finished house. But he is worried more, it seems by the prospect of having a FIRE or being ILL, or even a PARTY!!!


CHEER UPS SARGAMS!!! While you were sad and down, i totally automagically finished your house, with buffed out tricks and super fly equipments! lol i am so white!!! HOWEVAR this means that Mr Sargasm has a new fear, and it is a terrible fear indeed: HE FEARS TEH BURGLAR!


To halp with his troubles, Sargasm sits down to play on his computars. Maybe it is BF2. Maybe it is CS:S and he is throwing the bomb outside the map. AMAZING!!! But noez, he is on forum planet and SOMEBODY CLOSED BENTEST!!!


It is the worst moment ever, like 9/11 times 2372, and he is forced to take a break he feels so ill. So ill, omg he is almost SICK! SICK AND BURGLARS, HIS TWO WORST FEARS!!!


What is this? Is someone spying on Sargasm while he makes sandwiches to calm down? WHO COULD THIS BE??? Sars totally doesn't see anything suspicious as he works the bread like it was Oprah and he was Tom Cruise.


This may just be the sexiest wallpaper you will ever see in your entire life. WORK IT DO IT MAKE IT MAKES US HARDER FASTER BETTER STRONGER.


His sexiness fuelled for the day and feeling ripped like Trips, Sargasm heads outside and immediately becomes hypnotised by a MYSTERIOUS CREATURE.


All of a sudden, there are people in his garden. OMG BURGLARS? Sars is so afraid that he begins to dance the dance of sex, the sacred Texan gift passed down from father to son for generations. Interestingly, it appears to be working, at least on the hot one. But there is a man here also.


Immediately Sargasm yells at him, outraged. "WHAT IS YOUR POSITION ON STANDING ON MY LAWN?" He yells, "AND WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA AND A CAEK???"


Inside the house, Sars' plans become clear. He intends to sex the two women as hard as physically possible, to prove his superiority as an alpha male to this mysterious suspected burglar. AND WHAT A GOOD IDEA IT IS! You can see from the glint in his eye as he checks out the hot one. The guy seems none too pleased. But Sars doesn't care. He's just like that...

<red>TO BE CONTINUED!!!</RED>

 

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"often times, it seems that the only difference between children and the insane is pride of workmanship"
- chris onstad, achewood

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Join Date: Mar '01
homg, yes. I am glad you decided to continue this project as it was gg to the maximal.

*pours a 40 out for Bentest*

This should be interesting; I wonder who will sign up.

 

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MAYONNAISE ON EVERYTHING

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Posts: 1,606
Join Date: Oct '03
I SIR WILL SIGN UP FOR THIS UNDERTAKING MAINLY BECAUSE IT REQUIRES ALMOST NO EFFORT ON MY PART

SO

1) PIXOR: http://img158.exs.cx/img158/4151/dscf00027bx.jpg (minus beard and mustache kpls)
2) My aspiration is POPULARITY
3) A star sign for you will be LIBRA
4) EXTRA CARIBBEAN COOL PLS

 

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HAY FAGTOR WHY HAVEN'T YOU MADE THIS AZN SENSATION RITE HERE YET?

in case you lost my info after the treacherous perfidy acted upon bentest my pictar is in the "What?" thread and I AM A LIBRA AND ROMANTIC

 


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bee tee eff zor
Posts: 6,499
Join Date: Sep '03
DAY 2!!! omg so exciting!


And on this day we see the entrance into the neighbourhood of the Van Crunk family. As you can immediately see by the shifty shifty look of them, they are ghetto to the max. On the left is Bobblehead, a woman based on nobody in particular but she lives in the projects with her housemates. Then we have MMB, looking sexy in his black hoodie and fro totally ripped. THEN THERE IS TED!!! Sadly Ted is smaller than actual in these pictars, because I had not yet worked out how to make him the insanely tall fellow he is in real life.


This is the totally crunk projects-style block in which they live.


And as we join them, we see that they are stood outside arguing. "I AM NOT A MAGIC LAMP!" Ted yells to Bobblehead, while bob looks on mystified at these english words. He speaks only in Ebonics UC.


Heading indoors, MMB sits down in Ted's flashy ground floor flat to play on his Xbox. From outside, Ted is heard crashing drunkenly through the front door yelling "AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH, BITCH!"


And so she does! Bobblehead prepares a round of hot pockets, while secretly despairing. Will life always be like this?


Meanwhile downstairs, Ted leaps up from his Seat. "WTF BOB" He roars, "DON'T TURN THE XBOX OFF JUST BECAUSE I'M OWNING YOU!"


Oh noez! It appears whoevar the mysterious stalker was, they are now sitting watching Ted and Bob! Ted as you can see, pumps his fist in the air as he pwns Bob's FAEC.


Upset and feeling the need to get in touch with his roots, Bob heads upstairs to say ELLO to Bobblehead and enjoy a nutricious, delightful Hot Pocket or two.


To try and clear the air Bobblehead offers to paint another image of Ted and Bob as they tear it up ghetto style. BUT FROM OUTSIDE THAR IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR! omg who could it be?


YAEY ITS SARS!!! Clearly he managed to escape his house by WILY MEANS and is calling round to see how everyone is.


Upstairs however, things have taken a turn for the worse, as Ted yells at MMB. "BOB STOP TRYING TO TOUCH MY PENIS, IT'S NOT COOL!" "U thilly goothe" He jokes attempting to placate Ted, but to no avail. HARSH WORDS ARE SAID, I WON'T REPEAT THEM BUT ONE OF THEM BEGAN WITH THE N WORD!


Shocked and astounded by the blatant racism, Bob runs off. To whar does he run, we wonder? Ted doesn't care, as he goes to greet Sargasm.


Ted and Sars converse, but as they do something strange begins to happen... Ted begins to magically stretch up to his correct height! "OMG" Thinks Sars. BUT WHAR IS BOB?


OMG BOB NOE!!! Don't do it Bob, it was only a little racism! WHO CAN SAVE BOB??? Bobblehead?


Fgtry! She is updating her diary, as she is so poor and crunk she doesn't have a livejournal. "Dear Diary" She begins, because she is pretentious, "I met an amazingal man called SARGAMS today, I think he is a MEDICAL MAN also because when he first met me he yelled 'SURPRISE BREAST EXAMINATIONS' and punched me in the tits HARD. SO SEXY. Anyway, Ted and Bob probably need more sandwiches so i'd better try to get back to the kitchen. Current Mood: Meh."

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SO THAT IS HOW THE NEIGHBOURHOOD LOOKS AS OF THIS POST!!!

Omg, who will save Bob? How did Sars escape from his house and ARE THERE PEOPLE BURGLING IT RIGHT NOW? WHO IS THE MYSTERIOUS STALKER???

<red>TO BE CONTINUED!!!</red>

 

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"often times, it seems that the only difference between children and the insane is pride of workmanship"
- chris onstad, achewood

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gg mr tweak

 

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Ashun da fayka aleshte miba.

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bee tee eff zor
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Join Date: Sep '03
DAY THREE ALREADY?!?!


HOKAY, and hair it is on day three, where we say ELLO to the Maestro himsalf!!! But what is this, he wears the t-shirt of gamespie!


Obviously he has changed or thrown on a sexy hoodie by the time he's dropped at his CRAZY NATIONAL GUARDSMAN BUNKER IN THE WOODS.


And here is a pictar of the crazy national guardsman bunker in the woods!


And inside, theMaestro plays pinball, cheating slightly by using BAT TASTICLES instead of pinballs, but it doesn't matter because he wins HIGH SCORE.


Next, a quick check of his email and his usual forums. HMM, PENIS JOKES ON IRC. Same as usual, so he has a brief look at some porns.


TWO HOURS LATER, ze Maestro feels the need to become buff, just like Tripelo. So he pushes, and strains and pushes until he strains too hard and a little bit of poo comes out. WOOPS.


"HMM DID IS GETTING MIGHTY BORING, I WISH SOMEONE WOULD CALL ROUND MY HOUSE PLEASE" Thinks le Maestro. And he would be right!


IT SEEMS VISITORS HAVE ARRIVED!!! Yes, there is Bobblehead, and sars, BUT WHO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS STRANGER??? theMaestro worries, he worries about BURGLARS and FIRE and PARTIES!


Upon theMaestro's command, Bobblehead interrogates the newcomer. But Joel don't like dis. He can barely control himself.


MYSERIOUS STALKER?!?! Omg, they have somehow managed to scale the balcony and are now outside, watching Sargasm humping the pinball machine, hoping to get a higher score via fux.


Meanwhile outside, it appears some sort of sassing has happened, and the intruder is about to leave. But oh no. This was the last straw. Sassing Bobblehead, walking onto his property uninvited... the Maestro cracks his knuckles and gets ready to hit overdrive.


"GET OFFA MY GOD-DAMN PROPERTY RIGHT NOW BITCH, OR IMMA CALL IMMIGRATION AND HAVE THEM SEND YOU BACK TO WHATEVER HELLACRUNK ISLAND YOU CRAWLED OFF OF!"


"And then I grabbed her and slammed her head into a fucking TREE." As the Maestro recounts his tale, Bobblehead listens with awed shock. Even though she is developing feelings, theMaestro wouldn't lower himself to hitting that.

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OMG coming soon is me, tweakzilla! Here is me, checking out emogirl's ass. lelelelelelelelelelele

 

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"often times, it seems that the only difference between children and the insane is pride of workmanship"
- chris onstad, achewood

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Private
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le bemtest prodject ist incredible. It makes me want to reinstall the Sims 2 and make a me character. Then I would download all of your characters and have sex with each and everyone on them.

 


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omg hwo about me in there plz

 

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!HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM !HAM

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a man.
Posts: 3,113
Join Date: Sep '01
Best. Thing. Ever.

 

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www.chadomalley.com

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Internet Professional
Posts: 8,197
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This is like the only legitimate reason to have Sims 2 ever installed on your computer, but completely worth it.

 

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The Earth is made of Chemistry

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a man.
Posts: 3,113
Join Date: Sep '01
Ok, I have no recent pictures of me, so I made myself as a Sim.





Note my awesome sideburns.

 

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www.chadomalley.com

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With the recent death of Jew von Awesomesauc, his three remaining children have used honest german worker's money to set themselves up in a small house until they finalise the papers to move. It turns out this house is already inhabited by a squatter wearing a top hat and a pirate suit. Hilarity insures.

This is the Awesomesauc family (Plus the random squatter):


Day 1:
After a long day of moving stuff, or rather, watching peons moving their stuff, the brothers Awesomesauc decide to look at the clouds.


Although this was interesting, Ocelot couldn't but help think about VietCong booby traps, and the possibilty of them being in his stuff.

Some random people turn up to greet them, and being the <strike>jews</strike> people they are, Ocelot and Shacker attempt to mack on them.



To further woo them, they invite them in for hotdogs. Obviously most of them found their noses a turn off, but it seemed that Shodan was much liked.


BY THE WIMMEN.

Ocelot and Shacker soon tire of this, and so they go outside to renact their favourite movie, Fight Club.


Too bad Shacker hits like Brad Pitt.

Shodan decides to change into something more comfortable, and sets her sights on Jaffar to see if he can make him a slave.



Jaffar, on the otherhand, is to distract by thinking about Shodan, to actually notice her standing in front of him in only her underwear.



When Jaffar goes to wash up, Shodan attempts to try again, but the only one affected is Ocelot, who has a faint, but extremely forbidden thought.



Fed up, Shodan goes to watch some TV outside. Shacker takes this oppotunity to change into some formal wear. Ocelot walks in and is blinded by it momentarily.



Shacker goes up to the second floor and tries to get a glimpse downbra of Shodan. Which is creepy.



Jaffar comes out to check the grill, and possibly light things on fire. Who knows? Shodan attempts to mack on him yet again.



Being surprised, Jaffar is all like "XERXES WON'T LIKE THIS!" and backs off.



Shacker tires of the long day, and so decides to go relax in his bed. He seemingly doesn't notice the monolith fridge that runs off grass.



Ocelot goes up to his bed, but finds that Shodan has taken it over. He watches her for a while. Creepily.



Jaffar comes up just in time to see Ocelot about to knock out Shodan and rape her.



Ocelot offers to doubleteam Shodan with Jaffar, but he's all like "Xerxes won't like this." again, and totally rejects it.



Ocelot considers just having her himself, but then realizes she's not his type.



And so ends a very strange day one for our family. WHAT MAY TOMORROW BRING? NO ONE KNOWS.

Also, my tophat is totally awesome.

 


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bee tee eff zor
Posts: 6,499
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In Reply To #13

This would be awesome if the images actually worked Jaffar.

 

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"often times, it seems that the only difference between children and the insane is pride of workmanship"
- chris onstad, achewood

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omgliek, fixed.

Added: In commeration of the images actually work, I present you my Formal Wear (rarely seen). It is so sexy, that even Ocelot is considering macking on me.

 


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For breakfast
Posts: 1,071
Join Date: Apr '02
I am starting my own BTFzor project soon, it will be the crunkest of all Bentest projects

 


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