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Topic: Nigerian Bank Scams - Taco Needs Your Help, Baby
Covert Agent
Posts: 8,180
Join Date: Feb '01
In Reply To #31


2nd Lt. James Kirk
NATO Operations Staff
Fort Victoria
Europort, Gibraltar
Fax. +350 79901
Tel. +350 5116

Mr. Frank Chesson:

I am 2ND LIEUTENANT JAMES KIRK of the NATO RAPID-RESPONSE EXTRACTION FORCE stationed in Gibraltar, Spain. Enclosed are details of the operation which will take place at a yet to be determined time within the next month. I was informed of your predicament on 8 June 2004 by our mutual aquaintance, with whom you made contact on 6 June 2004 and requested assistance in departure from Cote d'Ivoire. As per several NATO agreements the command body has authorized a mission to extract you and your sister from Cote d'Ivoire.

The EXTRACTION FORCE is a NATO contingency force ready to intervene in an emergency to extract multinational expatriates in Africa and other designated personnel from the Republic of Cote d'Ivoire's soil on request by the NATO Verification Mission in the event that the subjects were unable or unwilling to fulfill its desire to leave the country and were under an imminent state of concern from indigenous assault. The NATO command, according to an agreement of June 5, 1993 assumes primary responsibilities for the safety and security of multinational expatriates in Cote d'Ivoire.

As a result of the withdrawal of NATO monitors from Cote d'Ivoire and the halting of NATO operations due to the non-compliance of the Cote d'Ivoire government by continuing to allow the build-up of rebel forces beyond acceptable levels, creating an unacceptable level of risk to the peace support verification and surveillance mission, the Extraction Force will not be supported by indiginous units or NATO staff residing in Cote d'Ivoire.

The Extraction Force will be comprised of an SAS troop of sixteen men flown into Cote d'Ivoire on Black Hawk helicopters. They will be assisted by a multinational force ten kilometers off the coastline on the HMS Bounty. Further details of the operation will be sent to you as necessary. The date of the operation will be set and confirmed within five days; a stand-by date will also be set before the operation takes place.

In the meantime, do not disclose any details of this operation to anyone, even close aquaintances. Should you have any concerns, address them to our mutual contact, who will forward them to myself.

Regards,

James Kirk
2nd Lieutenant
Special Air Service
NATO Operations Staff

 

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[P]aradox

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In Reply To #32

So my next question, quite obviously, becomes this: would you like his email address, or shall I mock up a new email address and send him what you've just written?



Also, I think I may have ruined my chair's upholstery in addition to my shorts when I saw "James Kirk."

 

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Private
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you have his cellphone right?

maybe text him a message saying 'Extraction imminent. we have you in sight. Do not show this message to anyone and remain where you are'

 

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Covert Agent
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In Reply To #33

Just mock up an address and send it.

 

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[P]aradox

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Soldier
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In Reply To #32
hahaha that letter is great.

 

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This is awesome.

 


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Master of the Obvious
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In Reply To #32
Ya gotta love the HMS Bounty.

 

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In Reply To #38

rofl... missed that the first couple times I read it. That letter gets funnier every time I read it.

Just got another email from my buddy Frank. To catch everything up to date, [P]'s letter makes me giggle like a little girl, but in the end, I decided against sending it, since doing so would be as illegal as what my little scammer is trying to do.

I've been pondering what to send him next, and letting him cool his heels a bit. I just received this today:



Date: Tue, 15 Jun 2004 18:06:07 +0100 (BST)
From: Frank "Snap Into a Slim Jim" Chesson
To: Taco
Subject: Reminder

Sir,

Still waiting to hear from you.

Regards,

Frank Chesson..



I think I may launch a counter-offensive and pretend I'm offended by his tone in his previous email. Haven't had any better ideas than that yet. Haven't really got any good ideas for how to approach it yet, either. Lay them on me if you got 'em.

 

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In Reply To #39
You should ask for something from him to make amends. Be it another picture, or maybe some poetry.

 

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In Reply To #39
Send [P]'s letter. What's he going to do?

"This guy impersonated a military officer while I tried to scam this guy out of his bank account and money!"

 


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In Reply To #41

I sent this instead:



Date: Tue, 15 Jun 2004 20:23:04 -0500
From: Taco
To: Frank "Born Again" Chesson
Subject: Re: Reminder

Hello, Frank,

I was deeply wounded by the tone of your previous email. Perhaps the hurdles I must overcome seem amusing to you, but they are very serious to me. Apparently, the prejudices that I must overcome are more far-reaching than I thought. Really, Frank, I had hoped for greater understanding from you, but your anger and aggression speak volumes. A child's game, indeed. I will not be made fun of, Frank.

It would seem that word of my philanthropic activities has begun to garner attention. I received an email today from a lovely gentleman in Nambia whose sizeable inheritance is being threatened by the activities of guerilla insurgents in the region. I asked him if he knew you but he said no. I guess Nambia is a long way from Libertaria. My geography isn't that good.

I regret that I'm unable to retrieve the information that you requested from my bank right now, as we are outside of their business hours. Unfortunately, since the banks will be closed tomorrow for Robert Louis Stevenson Day, I won't be able to retrieve the information until Thursday. Bob, my new Nambian friend, says I should not give you this information because you were so rude in your previous emails, but I told him that you were probably just stressed, on account of the money involved and all. I told him I was sure you would apologize, because I know that deep down, you are really nice and filled with Christ's love.

Have you discovered the Love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Frank? I can tell you all about him if you haven't. Just let me know.

 

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Master of the Obvious
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In Reply To #42
pwned.

 

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In Reply To #43

I had hoped that his greed would make him stupid when I mentioned being scammed by somebody else. Apparently, I underestimated my new friend. Pity.



Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 09:59:36 +0100 (BST)
From: Frank Chesson
To: Taco
Subject: Re: Reminder

Hello Sir,

Firstly, i would like to apologies for the tune of my previous mail but as i can see things, i really do not think i will continue with you in this transaction.

Since the size of your Namibian friend's inheritance is too large, then i will advise you continue with him.

I will never discourage you from transacting with him in good faith since God will surely bring a surviour to me here.

I know God's words as much as you might know.

Thanks and good bye.

frank Chesson



A couple ways to go with this immediately spring to mind... the obvious "letting it drop" isn't much fun. Having found a fellow Christian, I could decide to go with him rather than Bob (especially since he had the moral fiber not to slander Bob). Or perhaps even more fun, I could accidentally send an email intended for Bob to my bestest buddy Frank.

Decisions, decisions...

 

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In Reply To #44

send him a message saying something to the effect that NATO intelligence has been observing him and determined the risk to his person has reached Level 8, the trigger level for (can you work in wealthy here) expatriates to be given automatic protection and safe conduct to the US. An expert team headed by Mr K. "Cypher" Mitnick will be securing his funds for immediate transfer to his prepared safe house.

 

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In Reply To #45

The girl is hot. But that's just me.

 

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