In Reply To #225

I've refreshed this page 180 times so far, eyes glued, waiting for a status update.

In Reply To #225

*makes popcorn and puts on 3D glasses (the cardboard ones)*

So, apparently I've "been a cunt" to her (I suggested she was a bit short, and may have mentioned in passing that I hope she never votes after she said she has never read 'any books' (I am constantly surprised she manages to tie her own shoelaces))

It has been suggested that it doesn't really matter what she thinks of me, she shouldn't be behaving like a toddler when she's a guest in my house, and that this will - we're sure - be an end to it, now that she's got it out of her system.

The boy in his defence was trying to shut her up at the time, so he'll probably pass it on (in a "oh god my parents are so unfair" kinda way, obviously)

The boy is also well aware that I'm a complete bastard control freak who is pretty good at thinking of appropriate punishments.

But hopefully we'll be avoiding that this time (I hate changing the router settings, and I'd have to do that if I was to, for example, stop him using Skype to talk to her (really, she's a distraction from his revision...)).

Sounds like you have most things under control reasonably well; reasonable in the sense everyone is still breathing.



This kinda makes me want to be punished by you, right now. Appropriate punishment, please.

In Reply To #229

I have to know what you've done wrong, first.

The best punishments are both tailored to fit the crime AND to hit the perpetrator right where it hurts.

(if in doubt I just confiscate the boy's xbox power cable)

In Reply To #230

Crime: "I stole $20 from your purse. That's right, your purse, bitch to replace the Xbox power cable you stole!"

In Reply To #231

I'll be selling your xbox games on Amazon (and you'll helping to pack them up and post them) until you raise enough to pay me back.

You can choose which games, but you're grounded and you don't get to use your xbox until I've recovered the $20, so you might want to choose some games that people actually want to buy. At second-hand prices.

Popular, new games, for example. That you've recently acquired.

In Reply To #232

I'm never making an enemy out of you. Ever. That's just cruel.
/jots that one down for future reference.

In Reply To #232

I'm making notes, for whenever I have Kids.

Seriously, that's what discipline needs to be: swift and related to the "crime".

That is indeed quite brilliant. Not just because it'll really feel like a punishment, but also because it encourages cooperation

I intend my child to be perfect like I was. *flips hair back*

In Reply To #236

Expect the best, prepare for the worst.
No locks on kid's doors (or at least ones that you can open easily from inside the hallway).
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Ban them from forums - evil thoughts dwell on them.
Do not allow them to be evil dictators (or good ones at that).
All punishments shall be first consulted with Soylent Dave.

In Reply To #237

Great Advice...

Forgot 2 very important ones.

1. Make them learn cooking from an early age. Great cooks make great slaves.
2. Don't try selling them on Ebay (even for a joke), ASIO or America's equivalent, the FBI apparently don't like it when you try (had a friend who, as a joke tried to sell his 6 year old sister on Ebay a few years ago).

In Reply To #239

My best parenting tip is

"Have some rules that don't actually matter very much"

Every kid needs rules to chafe against (rules = structure, for young 'uns; they pretend they hate having a bedtime (or whatever), but they like it really).

As they get older, they need to be able rebel & break some, and negotiate with you to relax them (which means they're achieving concessions *from their parents*, pretty important stuff).

If you can achieve this by letting your kid 'sneakily' break some of the little rules (when younger) or relax them as he ages, then you're a lot less likely to need to worry about him breaking any of the ones that really matter.

And it also means that when you really put your foot down about something, your kid knows it actually is something that really matters (although 'explaining why it matters' is usually a massive help towards this, too).